I kept hoping that I would be fit enough company to rejoin society, but not yet. I have forced myself to schedule two social outings this week to get me out of my cave and, of course, I am now dreading both.
Since we have been here I have been of the mind that this is not me, this impatient, snappish, brittle shrew. But at some point you gotta wonder -- really? I have made a mantra of saying that any number of points of our circumstance are temporary: the job worry, the deracinated feeling, the brittleness. However, "temporary" has turned into 2 years and counting -- so apparently this is the new, unimproved me.
Aaron has been given 30-day notice at his job. The news was not unexpected, it was a contract gig, but it has put us into two very different modes. Aaron is sending his energy into many directions, not all of it productive, as he tries to find another gig. I clean house and do laundry while trying to fight back the sensation of the water rising to my ears.
Grimly we went to the zoo, went to the movies, I got my haircut. I re-read one of the Little House on the Prairie books to give myself perspective. I am still complaining more than I'd like but I can occasionally follow it up with some thankfulness. No cyclones, locusts, blizzards or threshing accidents here.
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