No update on the job front. Aaron is still being contacted daily by recruiters and has another 2 interviews coming up, but no offer yet.
With Aaron not working I have had more help with Olivia and a grown-up to talk to during the day, so nice win for me. He has all of the stress still of trying to provide while I have the buffer of complete resignation that I will ever work again.
Plus, Olivia is at a really fun age and the weather has been great so it's been fun to go to the park and swing or slide in the sun. Close as we'll get to a vacation and it's kind of felt that way.
Once again I am glad we are not back in the city. The weather is better in the East Bay and I see how much my mood is positively affected. Easier to be hopeful when you are not cold.
Olivia is hopped up on Popsicles and soda so I gotta go clean her up.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Day 2
Sunday we decided we finally needed to pull the proverbial Band-Aid off and wean Olivia from her bedtime bottle. We had been procrastinating on it, knowing that it would mean no sleep for anyone.
If we'd thought it through, it might have made sense to not do it as daylight savings was beginning, as there was an extra hour lost. Plus, on Monday Aaron had to get up at 3AM to make a 6AM flight out of San Jose for a job interview in Denver. Aaron was quiet as he left that morning, but Olivia and I both wakened and didn't get back to sleep until 7AM which meant a recipe for disaster.
Sure enough, Olivia's nap time was way off and she was so exhausted she cried for nearly two hours without going to sleep. By dinner time she was a hysterical mess and I was not far behind her. She cried for another hour and a half that evening and finally passed out around 9:30PM -- just as Aaron returned from his trip. Everyone was so exhausted that I finally got the download today as to how it went for him.
Today Aaron was supposed to have definitively heard from the company he interviewed with as to whether he was getting an offer or not; no word though. He has another interview tomorrow for a contract position down in Santa Clara.
Meanwhile I try to keep the home-fires burning. This afternoon I went out to purchase a new belt for myself. As I was searching several stores I caught sight of myself in a store mirror and was aghast. I truly looked homeless. Shoes caked with mud, hair uncombed, pants that were too small and dirty, a t-shirt with a mismatched sweater vest over it.
For once I was relieved to hardly know anyone in this area because I would have been run-and-hide embarrassed to see anyone I know. One of the things I consciously guarded against was becoming one of those wives or mothers who appeared to have given up. Today I had "given up" written all over me. Sigh. I thought of the quote "Sometimes courage is the small voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" So here's me, at nearly midnight, screwing up my courage.
Aaron and I recently started a new practice that I'd been wanting to institute called "roses and thorns". At the end of each day we tell each other the high points and low points. Since Aaron fell asleep while getting the kid down without a bottle, I'll share with you. Low points: looking like a bag lady, being late from shopping so that Aaron missed soccer practice. High points: finding a pair of black pants that fit me well on the clearance rack, hearing my husband tell me that today he felt happy for the first time in weeks.
If we'd thought it through, it might have made sense to not do it as daylight savings was beginning, as there was an extra hour lost. Plus, on Monday Aaron had to get up at 3AM to make a 6AM flight out of San Jose for a job interview in Denver. Aaron was quiet as he left that morning, but Olivia and I both wakened and didn't get back to sleep until 7AM which meant a recipe for disaster.
Sure enough, Olivia's nap time was way off and she was so exhausted she cried for nearly two hours without going to sleep. By dinner time she was a hysterical mess and I was not far behind her. She cried for another hour and a half that evening and finally passed out around 9:30PM -- just as Aaron returned from his trip. Everyone was so exhausted that I finally got the download today as to how it went for him.
Today Aaron was supposed to have definitively heard from the company he interviewed with as to whether he was getting an offer or not; no word though. He has another interview tomorrow for a contract position down in Santa Clara.
Meanwhile I try to keep the home-fires burning. This afternoon I went out to purchase a new belt for myself. As I was searching several stores I caught sight of myself in a store mirror and was aghast. I truly looked homeless. Shoes caked with mud, hair uncombed, pants that were too small and dirty, a t-shirt with a mismatched sweater vest over it.
For once I was relieved to hardly know anyone in this area because I would have been run-and-hide embarrassed to see anyone I know. One of the things I consciously guarded against was becoming one of those wives or mothers who appeared to have given up. Today I had "given up" written all over me. Sigh. I thought of the quote "Sometimes courage is the small voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" So here's me, at nearly midnight, screwing up my courage.
Aaron and I recently started a new practice that I'd been wanting to institute called "roses and thorns". At the end of each day we tell each other the high points and low points. Since Aaron fell asleep while getting the kid down without a bottle, I'll share with you. Low points: looking like a bag lady, being late from shopping so that Aaron missed soccer practice. High points: finding a pair of black pants that fit me well on the clearance rack, hearing my husband tell me that today he felt happy for the first time in weeks.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Betwixter and Betweener
Lots of concerned follow-up to Aaron's interview in North Carolina. Wish I had more to tell people than "We are waiting to hear back." He has another interview in a week or so in Colorado for a different company -- provided they purchase the ticket. We still haven't been reimbursed for Aaron's trip to Charlotte.
We are done with California, put a fork in it. The other night when Olivia started getting sick I went on a late-night drugstore run to get her some supplies. As I came out of the store I was accosted by a frantic woman looking for a ride to the subway. Her mom was in the hospital and she needed to get there fast. During the short ride the woman turned to me, thanked me for giving her a ride, then said "Excuse me. I am not from here, I'm from Chicago, but people here are really mean!"
She went on to say more about her situation -- which was pretty grim. I wanted to laugh at her comment but didn't want her to think that I was making fun of her plight. She'd said just what Aaron and I have said many times. Californians are a rude, self-absorbed bunch. I don't know whether we will end up in Charlotte or not, but I look forward to living in a place where there is at least superficial politeness and friendliness.
After I got home with the various nostrums, Olivia got worse and around 4AM we took her into the hospital. She'd been vomiting and had over a 102 fever. Turns out she had another ear infection and she got oral antibiotics at the hospital plus another two prescriptions. She is feeling better today but is still labile and cranky so I don't think she is fully up to snuff.
I am working on reprogramming my head. Until my thinking changes to the positive I know I won't see positive results. I figure it's like losing weight or anything else you want to overcome: commitment and diligence and a willingness for things to be better than your might be able to imagine now.
We are done with California, put a fork in it. The other night when Olivia started getting sick I went on a late-night drugstore run to get her some supplies. As I came out of the store I was accosted by a frantic woman looking for a ride to the subway. Her mom was in the hospital and she needed to get there fast. During the short ride the woman turned to me, thanked me for giving her a ride, then said "Excuse me. I am not from here, I'm from Chicago, but people here are really mean!"
She went on to say more about her situation -- which was pretty grim. I wanted to laugh at her comment but didn't want her to think that I was making fun of her plight. She'd said just what Aaron and I have said many times. Californians are a rude, self-absorbed bunch. I don't know whether we will end up in Charlotte or not, but I look forward to living in a place where there is at least superficial politeness and friendliness.
After I got home with the various nostrums, Olivia got worse and around 4AM we took her into the hospital. She'd been vomiting and had over a 102 fever. Turns out she had another ear infection and she got oral antibiotics at the hospital plus another two prescriptions. She is feeling better today but is still labile and cranky so I don't think she is fully up to snuff.
I am working on reprogramming my head. Until my thinking changes to the positive I know I won't see positive results. I figure it's like losing weight or anything else you want to overcome: commitment and diligence and a willingness for things to be better than your might be able to imagine now.
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