Sunday we decided we finally needed to pull the proverbial Band-Aid off and wean Olivia from her bedtime bottle. We had been procrastinating on it, knowing that it would mean no sleep for anyone.
If we'd thought it through, it might have made sense to not do it as daylight savings was beginning, as there was an extra hour lost. Plus, on Monday Aaron had to get up at 3AM to make a 6AM flight out of San Jose for a job interview in Denver. Aaron was quiet as he left that morning, but Olivia and I both wakened and didn't get back to sleep until 7AM which meant a recipe for disaster.
Sure enough, Olivia's nap time was way off and she was so exhausted she cried for nearly two hours without going to sleep. By dinner time she was a hysterical mess and I was not far behind her. She cried for another hour and a half that evening and finally passed out around 9:30PM -- just as Aaron returned from his trip. Everyone was so exhausted that I finally got the download today as to how it went for him.
Today Aaron was supposed to have definitively heard from the company he interviewed with as to whether he was getting an offer or not; no word though. He has another interview tomorrow for a contract position down in Santa Clara.
Meanwhile I try to keep the home-fires burning. This afternoon I went out to purchase a new belt for myself. As I was searching several stores I caught sight of myself in a store mirror and was aghast. I truly looked homeless. Shoes caked with mud, hair uncombed, pants that were too small and dirty, a t-shirt with a mismatched sweater vest over it.
For once I was relieved to hardly know anyone in this area because I would have been run-and-hide embarrassed to see anyone I know. One of the things I consciously guarded against was becoming one of those wives or mothers who appeared to have given up. Today I had "given up" written all over me. Sigh. I thought of the quote "Sometimes courage is the small voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" So here's me, at nearly midnight, screwing up my courage.
Aaron and I recently started a new practice that I'd been wanting to institute called "roses and thorns". At the end of each day we tell each other the high points and low points. Since Aaron fell asleep while getting the kid down without a bottle, I'll share with you. Low points: looking like a bag lady, being late from shopping so that Aaron missed soccer practice. High points: finding a pair of black pants that fit me well on the clearance rack, hearing my husband tell me that today he felt happy for the first time in weeks.
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