Deep Cleansing Breath

My friend Maurine has been trying to lead me in meditations to try to diperse the stress that is causing my shoulders to hover around my ears. She has her own stress and figured we could both get some good from reminding ourselves that this, too, shall pass. I say "trying" because getting 10 minutes of non-distracted time for the two of us to have a phone call has being something of high comedy: cue barking dogs, crying babies and ringing doorbells.

For me the stress root is something that Aaron and I have been struggling with for a while: how should one act when people around you (important people like bosses) are acting without integrity? On one hand you don't want to become one of their prey but neither do you want to become like them -- scared, self-serving, irrational. So right now it seems as though it's a choice between feeling like a chump or not being able to provide for your family. Deep breath.

We are watching a friend of a friend's dog for a week and, after one day, I already want to give it back. It's an elderly toy poodle, half-blind and domineering. It's an extra hassle during a week where I am not in a generous mood, with it's peeing on the carpet and chasing my dog into corners. Sadie looks up at me with her big brown eyes and makes a chuffing noise as if to say "Who needs this?" Breathe.

As I sit at the desk writing Olivia has taken to standing on a file box and leaping onto my back like a baby chimp, then swinging down and up on the box and my back again. (And I wonder why I have back spasms?) After repeatedly pulling my hair in the process, I stuck her in her playyard-- an affront she is not bearing well as the neighbors can attest. Deep breath.

And so it goes, breathe in, breathe out.