I've gone from trying to get back to my old self to trying to just become someone I can live with. I don't think the old me is there any more. I don't think I am fated to remain this brittle has-been either, but neither do I want to be around her. Fortunately I live with a 17-month old elf who doesn't know her mom is seemingly unemployable. She's just the lady who dances with her on the patio.
I don't know how to position myself in this market, I don't know how to sell myself anymore and I am shocked at the disdain that HR is met with by hiring managers. Whatever confidence I bolstered myself with is gone. My hat is off to actors everywhere who audition week after week and keep at it. If I were younger and in this situation I'd have a couple more kids and move off the grid entirely. Cue banjo music and pictures of chickens and cows.
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I think the lady who dances with the elf on the patio IS the real you. It's the Justine I know and remember.
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