Calm Assertive

I have been corresponding with a friend of mine about the Dog Whisperer and his mantra of having calm/assertive energy at all times when interacting with your dog. I am convinced that he is going to be the next business management guru because I see the practical application of it in all aspects of life. My friend and I agree that there is a lot of direct application to raising children.

It's funny that I've been having this conversation recently because the past three days this calm/assertive theme has been right in my face. Aaron is in Japan this week, so I have been single momming it. Twice a day Olivia and I walk Sadie and it has been really stressful. I can't contain either one of them and I spend all my time trying to keep Olivia out of traffic and Sadie from eating cat poop.

When Sadie was a puppy I used the extend-able leash, but with the kid and a stroller, that didn't work so we switched to a regular leash. And it's a mess. Sadie is switching sides all the time, stopping every few seconds to sniff. It's gotten to the point where Olivia yells "Come!" every few moments because she's seen me do it so often. I feel like I need to push "reset" and start all over with training the both of us.

Then Friday after I'd dropped Aaron off at the airport, Olivia took a bad fall off a chair and I wrenched my back trying to catch her. Failed, she fell on her head and I had back spasms that day and night. Then had my purse stolen. So as I was retracing my steps, calling security, the police, etc. every time I lifted Olivia into the car seat, shooting pains. Forget calm assertive. I was a wreck, Olivia was a wild child and I couldn't compose myself enough to alter course. I could see in the moment how everything was getting escalated to a fever pitch but I couldn't back it down. If I canceled all my (joint) credit cards, ATM, etc I was afraid I'd be leaving Aaron stuck in Tokyo without access to cash.

In the midst of this, a box of sea-salt caramels that I had ordered arrived and I just self-medicated on sugar. Ugh.

I hate the yelling. Aaron and I don't ever yell at each other. But I yell at Olivia often and I can't stand it. Here I am again, I'm that mother. The one you see in the supermarket parking lot, dragging the kid by one arm and scolding her all the way.

I am really feeling the loss of protected time. And I keep wondering -- how do all these other women manage it? Generations of women before me and around me raise kids without going to pieces. Not that I expected it to be a cakewalk, but this just isn't sustainable. Thank goodness my dog forgives me immediately and my daughter a few minutes after that, but there has to be a path out of this stress.